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My pregnancy journey

I got married in Aug 2013, but never got to see positive Urine pregnancy test. NEVER! I won't say I was greatly disappointed as I was also waiting for few things between me and husband to settle down slowly and it took a while. Once things became alright everyone started expecting and wherever we went we got plenty of advice and tips. We were hesitant to take Sunday's classes due to the initial issues between us, but somehow for the past two years we have been teaching little children every Sunday. 

In the meantime, we tried multiple doctors (no big treatments) and were bored with the same repetitive scans and tests, which reported no issues as such. The last scans taken in 2017 reported I had little harmless cysts and they would take time to resolve and the doctor would stop even the few tablets I had to take on 5 days at the start of my cycle. I would have to be honest here. My cycle - can vary from 26 days to 60 days too. You can hardly guess what my fertile days are, including doctors. And there were many times when I had trouble with egg rupturing, they would just grow and the doctor would suggest again to skip that particular cycle or two to start all over again from the scratch. And you can easily guess how my mood was, all through every pelvic scan. I went for HSG (tube) test in May 2017, sincerely speaking, because of all the prayers of my prayer buddies I got enough strength to undergo the test and yes it was painful but I expected the worst when I went, and it didn't seem so worse as I expected it to be. Then my doctor said she would start with IUI (artificial insemination) process from the next cycle as there were no blocks detected in the tube test. Well, as always, I asked few more months to avoid IUI, but my husband was very rigid this time to start with IUI as per the doctor's suggestion. Though I didn't like his idea, I also didn't like my idea of prolonging the wait as I did for more than 3.5 years. I was very relaxed after the tube test as anyways we were going to face all the harsh treatments. I had extended stays at work both on the weekdays and also on weekends supporting my team through their weekend support and that includes night support as well. I am a kind of person who is always early to work and late to bed. I hardly remember the days we were together. HARDLY means real HARDLY. We even went for long drives assuming we would have to stay home once the treatment starts. Triples at times! Lot of jerks and road bumps crossed!

On June 26, 2017 we went to the Scripture Union campsite as Sundays school teachers for a retreat program, and I went there along with my heavy laptop bag as usual to assist my team during their holiday support. I got to work when the church friends had games to play. But during the worship session, as I was encouraged by a senior Sundays school teacher, I fully trusted in the Lord and kept on repeating ‘Karthar enakkai yaavaiyum seidhu mudipaar’ song written after Psalm 138:8. 

After returning home after a long tiring day, I realised it was more than 50 days and I was not too much surprised with it as my cycle, as I told earlier, can go up to 60+ days as well. Then I thought of doing Urine pregnancy test just for formality. I am sure I have done only close to 10 UPT all through the past 3.5 years. I have never seen two pink lines which many couples long to see. This time unusually I saw two pink lines for the very first time in my kit. I could hardly realise how I could interpret that test result. Though I have forwarded others, one of my friends’ testimony and the long list of pregnancy promises, I never confessed them at least once. I know many were praying for me, but I was not serious to pray about a baby. I showed my UPT kit to my husband and we were not able to believe that we were expecting. We thought of getting it confirmed by the doctor the next day. Since my doctor was busy on that day with emergency deliveries, we had to wait. I underwent some pelvic scan again (sheesh) and I was laying down there thinking what the technician would tell me after seeing the result. I have to be honest that I expected her to yell at me "Hey you said you had a positive result, but there is nothing in here." But I heard her saying, "Can you see here?" I was so scared to see what she was about to show me, then, she showed me the baby's heartbeat, only by that time I could believe that I was pregnant for the very first time in my life. A wait close to 3.5 years! (my 4th wedding anniversary was on August 22 and I didn't want to celebrate it without the bundle of joy we usually expect every passing month) With that heartbeat readings I was waiting for the doctor to return. Once my turn has come, when the attender called me to check my weight, the doctor said, "no maa she is not pregnant, she has come here for the regular check-up" assuming I have gone there for IUI preparation. When the attender handed her the reading my doctor could not react for a while until she said, "this is excellent!" She even confirmed with me saying, "this is a normal pregnancy la maa, with no treatment (not even a single tablet) this month" and I said "Yes" to her, but deep inside my heart, I was crying out, that this is not a normal pregnancy as the medical world would say, but 100% miraculous pregnancy which only our God made it possible. He is the one who calls out everything out of nothing. I even fell into temptation one Saturday, and so I can't claim even a single credit for why He has blessed us. He has blessed us because of who He is! And not because of who we are!

My prayer buddies at office prayed for me. Thanks a lot guys for all your prayers! Whenever my office housekeeping staffs saw my pregnancy bump they guided me so much; they warned me when they saw me sitting in a wrong posture. One of my office colleagues even filled my water bottle every time she saw my empty or half-filled water bottle. I have got so much love and support from my family and friends! Everything meant a lot to me. We had to take countless number of cabs from the day we knew I was pregnant until after the delivery! God has kept us and the little one inside so safe, in spite of all the rides. With His grace I could go to work until I completed 9 months.

The scans showed the due date to be Feb 12, 2018. It was such a bitter month for us, because in 2002 on Feb 22nd my in-laws lost their daughter when she was just 22. I truly believe God has restored the loss and proved that He has not forgotten us. The month which was so far so bitter for us, is the month of miracle for us now. 

Yes, on Feb 7, 2018, early in the morning I told God that I could not wait any longer to deliver the baby as it was way too much to bear. The countless trips to the washroom and the weight of the belly and the constant push I had in my bladder made me so tired for the last few weeks. Exactly on the same day it started with mild bloody show by 7 AM IST. We went for a check-up and was told that I was dilated only 2 cm. 8 more cms more!!! The doctor also told me that the true contractions might come on the same day, or several days later!! But after 2:30 PM IST I started having severe contractions. I didn’t know they were the contractions and so we waited until 5 PM IST. I could not bear anymore and we went to the hospital to have a check anyway. By 6 PM IST they started preparing me for the delivery and within 2.5 hours we received our little princess!!! Between 6 PM and 8:30 PM the help I got from the technicians, doctor, housekeeping staffs inside the labor room was more than a miracle!!! The Lord has really shown me high favour in their eyes. Some even reminded me to call out to God when I had unbearable pain! I kept on reciting some choruses, Bible verses and short prayers to God and He has beautifully carried me through it all!!! The first kiss of my little one on my cheeks brought in so much tears in my eyes!!! It was all God & God who made that moment possible in my life!!! Oh how much I need to be thankful to Him!!!

Outside the labor room, many were praying for me and especially my husband said prayers which we have drafted from reading many books and booklets, promise verses for short labor, etc,… and I believe God heard all the prayers everyone said!!!

I was 33 years old and I had a normal delivery! Can you believe it? Many said that a woman above this age would not have normal delivery, even if she does she would have labor pain for long hours as her bones would have become so rigid. And as I work in IT and in front of laptop for extended hours, and do not have much house chores done as often as I should be, the labor would be tough and most likely it was going to be a caesarean delivery! I am always on the lean side and hence I was also very much afraid of how I was going to bear the pain, but my God who has started it had let me come out the labor room with victory for His glory, even though my baby’s heart rate went below 100 twice when she was trying to come out since her head was little big to pass through easily!!! 

We named our little cutie pie ‘Janice Jane Jebaraj’. Janice means ‘the Lord has been gracious’ and Jane is the feminine name of ‘John’. Her loving smiles, magic working hands, blinks of her eyes and what not, all about her bring so much joy in our hearts and tears in our eyes! We believe that she would grow in wisdom, God’s grace and find favour in the eyes of people! 

Sorry for making this testimony a lengthy one, but I could write forever when I think of His hand in this entire pregnancy journey. I hope this would encourage others who are going through a path of long wait. I pray that the Lord would see your tears (He does it already) and would bless you with a baby and make you a testimony!! God bless you!!!!

Psalm 113:9 - The Lord gives a barren woman a home; making her a joyous mother of children.

I have a set of promise verses, prayers for baby, for a safe delivery and postpartum. If you need them, kindly do not hesitate to reach me out at jansi.todays.words@gmail.com. Please have a meaningful subject when you send me an email so I can respond at the earliest. If you or your friends are waiting for a baby, pls share your(their) names, so we can pray for you(them). Please forward to share this link with those who would need this.

May God bless you! 

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