Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7
Good morning, friends! Let me share something which I read in the book by Leann Albrecht, ‘Screaming on the inside.’ Let me write the same just like she narrates but a little shortened to include the basic essence of her inner heart.
It was the second time I became pregnant after I lost my first unborn baby after many years of my marriage. My body released another unborn child when I was in the middle of a double-header live worship event with Ron Kenoly and Don Moen. It was hard to concentrate on singing. I don’t know how I survived the long hours of agony before we finished the recording and the rehearsals. The longing for children persisted as and when we visited doctors and the specialists we could and had surgeries. We even tried adopting a child, but somehow God said ‘No’ to every child I thought would be Albrechts’ child.
Our hearts were filled with joy when we dreamt about the unborn Jonathan Zachary Albrecht who was inside his 19 years old mom April’s womb who already had a little baby girl. She told that she could not raise her son. We spent countless hours in waiting rooms and birthing clinics with her. Our fingers cramped as we signed and signed the huge stack of legal documents for adopting Jonathan.
Amidst of the excitement, all of a sudden I felt so uneasy and the Lord said to me that April has changed her mind. I didn’t want to believe it at all. The next morning the adoption lawyer confirmed the same and I stood frozen. I was broken to the core asking whether God was not noticing our desperation. I just wanted answers to my prayers. I even felt like God has played with my emotions.
On a chilly January day April called me and said, “Leann, this is April. There’s not been a day that is gone that I haven’t thought about you and Carl and how sorry I am that I hurt you. In fact I pray for you every day. I also wanted you to know that I would never have known Jesus if I had not come to your home. I am so grateful for you and Carl pointed me to Him. Because of you, I am raising both of my children in Church. We attend Church every week.”